This Morning.

I've had a rough morning. 

Jacob has decided that 5ish or so is a suitable time to wake up everyday.

I've tried to convince him otherwise but he doesn't seem to believe me.

And when he wakes up, he's up. 

No cuddling or holding or laying in my bed. He's ready to eat, play and climb.

Which means no easing into the day. I have to be alert and on the ball.

I wasn't happy about that this morning.

I was instantly in a bad mood. 

It didn't take long for Ethan to wake up, since he could hear his little brother up and running around.

They soon started pulling and rolling around on one another which never ends good.

It wasn't long before I heard crying and screaming coming from them and it wasn't even 7am yet.

Breakfast wasn't going well, the kids were whiny, I needed coffee.

I started getting frustrated with the kids, being too harsh and short.

I complained and whined to my husband.

I went to the bathroom and cried for a minute.

All this just made things worse, obviously.

I dropped Ethan off at preschool, late, and headed to Starbucks. I needed it!

As I sat in the drive-thru I saw that a friend posted this on facebook.

It hit me right in the face.

It's not like this is a new concept, but I needed to read those words.

I'm sitting here crying and complaining, to my loving husband, in my cozy house about my two beautiful kids, while I really should be thanking God for all this and so much more.

Oh, how selfish and ungrateful I felt right then.

Now that doesn't mean I'm going to discount my feelings of exhaustion or being overwhelmed, but I most definitely do not need to take it out on anyone else, especially those I love the most.

 There are far too many days I choose to focus on what I don't have or what is not going my way, when I really should be focusing on all the greatness God has blessed me with.

It's really so simple when I think about it, so why do I make it so hard.

So I'm choosing to change my attitude today. 

Thank You God!

Thank You for all I have!

Thank you for all you have given me!

Thank you!

Have you thanked God today?

1 Thessalonians 5:18

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

The Things I Hear.

Often times when I am out with my boys I hear the same comments.

"My you are busy."

"Oh Dear, you need a break."

"How do you ever get enough rest?"

and my favorite...

"Your hands sure are full."

(as I then look around to see what other children I must have collected along the way.)

I know people mean well when they makes these comments.

I know they are not trying to be rude. I know they are not trying to be negative.

I know they are not intentionally trying to hurt me, but they are.

Yes, all of the above it slightly true.

I am busy, some days, but generally we are pretty mellow and laid back.

Some days I do need a break, as any mother does, but I like what I do everyday. I like my job.

Almost every night I get enough rest, except for when the kids are sick, which thankfully is not often.

And sometimes my hands are quite literally full as I am carrying Jacob, the diaper bag, two sippy cups and holding Ethan's hand while we are crossing the parking lot.

These comments are hurtful because of what I think afterward.

Do I look that overwhelmed or disheveled?

Are the boys being too loud and noisy? I thought they were just having fun.

Are the bags under my eyes really that dark? I thought my makeup was covering them up. Heck the fact that I have makeup on is amazing.

Do my kids seem out of control or too hard to manage? 

The answer is NO to all of the questions that run through my head.

I know that I'm not overwhelmed. I know that my boys are wonderful.

I know that I get enough rest. I know that I'm doing the best I know how.

I know that I want to be a mom, everyday. 

So yesterday as we were loading groceries into our cart an elderly woman approached me.

"Here we go," I thought.

To my surprise she said,

"Honey, your children are so well behaved. They are beautiful and just so happy."

I thanked her, as Jacob flirted a little and Ethan loaded up some bananas, and then walked away beaming.

  I felt full of pride.

That tiny little comment, that took all of 1 minute, was so affirming and gracious.

Wouldn't it be nice if we heard more of this everyday? Wouldn't it be nice if people focused on the positive and not the negative? Wouldn't it be nice if we praised one another for the good we are doing?

Wouldn't it be nice if we took a couple of moments to say a few kind words?

I think so. 

And it would make my trips to Target and the grocery store a little happier.

And I'm linking up over here for the first time...

Control.

It's been one of those days.

One where everything seems like it should go fine but then little things throw it into a tail spin.

Here's the rundown:

* Jacob woke up at 5:15, enough said.

* Ethan slept too late this morning.

(Some of you might be thinking, "How wonderful." Wrong. That usually means no nap.)

* Ethan didn't want to brush his teeth which resulted in a meltdown outside for all the neighbors to hear. Wonderful.

* I had on a cute outfit when I left the house and was going to take a picture of myself but didn't have time. As I drove the car, talking on my cell (hands-free), and eating yogurt I spilled some on my sweater, my phone and my seat.

Why on earth did I ever think eating yogurt while driving was a good idea?

And now, no cute photo.

* I dumped half the contents of my diaper bag in the middle of the Target.

* I discovered much too late that Ethan had been leaving a trail of popcorn throughout Target.

* Got charged double, three times at Target, only to find out when I got home. 

(needless to say, Target was not my friend today)

* In 5 minutes I managed to spill coffee on the front of my white shirt, break a mug and shatter a bowl.

All while Jacob tried to unload the dishwasher, fell and smacked his head on the floor. 

* Ethan did not nap.

* The cooking rice boiled over onto the newly cleaned stove and the chicken I cooked wasn't so yummy.

Most of the time when stuff like this happens I get mad, sometimes really mad, and I let it ruin my whole day. I get short with Brett and snappy with the kids. 

But not today.

I didn't let it bother me. I just laughed it off. Let it all slide off my back. 

I'm finally learning that everything doesn't have to be perfect all the time and I don't have control over the situations in front of me.

  But I do have control over my reactions.

I'm often quick to react negatively and slow to react positively.

A horrible trait that I am not proud of. 

So I'm learning and teaching myself to be the opposite.

It's hard work, but worth it, for me and my family.

Because in the end I want nothing more than to be the best I can be for these three guys.

Brett is going to hate me for putting up this photo, but it's the only recent one I've got. Love you, Babe!

I'm linking up here...

I Heart Faces: Motherhood

I was not planning on entering a photo on I Heart Faces this week.

I love this week's challenge but I did not have a photo in mind. 

Then I stumbled across this photo...

I took it a couple of weeks ago when Ethan and I were playing around with my camera.

He was taking pictures of himself in our floor length mirrors. 

After playing for about 20 minutes, and taking about 100 photos, I had told him it was time to stop and he was thoroughly disappointed.

So I picked him up and held him for a minute and reassured him we had another fun activity planned right around the corner.

I happened to snap this photo on a whim.

It's not the most glamorous picture ever taken.

My hair is a mess, the closet door is open, the sheets on my bed are not straight, I look pregnant, but to me it is the definition of motherhood.

I little frazzled, not perfect, but stopping everything to comfort your little one.

Check out more motherhood submissions here.

Confession.

When I woke up this morning I didn’t want to be a mom.

I was awakened to Jacob’s soft little grunting noises at 6am which means only one thing, a dirty diaper.

I didn’t feel like starting my day with a dirty diaper.

So I laid there for a minute wishing I could go back to sleep for at least an hour.

And if I could have “slept in” and woken up with no children, no dirty diaper, no responsibility, I would have taken a long shower. I would have taken the time to fix my hair and apply my makeup. I would have sipped a cup of coffee while reading the paper and checking my favorite blogs. I then would have ventured out of the house alone, carrying a purse, and not having to worry about dirty fingers or spit-up destroying my attire. I would have leisurely walked through the mall, going into the stores that have breakable items at children’s eye levels. I would have eaten a gourmet lunch in peace. I would have listened to the radio loudly on my drive home.

But that is not how I started my day.

I’ve had these thoughts before and I would feel guilty for having them.

I would feel that I was being ungrateful for the healthy kids I have. I would feel that I was taking for granted the opportunity I have at this time to stay home with them. I mean, I should love every part of being a mother every single minute of every day, right?

Honestly, No.

Being a mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me, I really don’t think anything else will ever compare, but it’s a job too. It's a job that never ends, where you never get time off or sick pay. You don't get to clock in and out or have an hour lunch break. There were plenty of days while I was working, that I would wake up and not want to go into the office. I would have the same little wishful dream as the one above.I would have the same feelings as I did this morning.

So the guilt has stopped.

I am grateful for my amazing kids. I am thankful for the opportunity to stay home with them. But I will not feel guilty for sometimes, just every once in a little while, wanting to have a day all to myself.