Tuesday was my last day of work.
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to be a stay at home mom. When I was younger and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I would reply, "a mom." I never wanted to have a career. When it came time to go to college I had no idea what I would go to college for. I pictured myself staying home, cooking dinner and raising kids. They don't offer Home Economics any longer, so I was out of luck. I decided to go into Early Childhood Education since I figured I could use everything I learned with my future kids at home. I planned on getting a job as a preschool teacher until the time came that I would have children.
Life ended up giving me some unexpected turns and I needed to make enough money to live. I wanted to be independent and not rely on my parents, and the field of Early Childhood Education was not going to help me out in that area.
So it was at that time I decided to work for my dad. He owns a construction company and at the time, 5 years ago, the company was growing and his controller needed help. I was a perfect fit, well except for the fact that I knew nothing about accounting or finances or anything regarding running a company. But I started to pick it all up quickly and to my surprise I loved it. I slowly began to take on more and more responsibility and formed a position that was all my own. I really liked it and I thought to myself, "maybe I do want to have a career after all."
After Brett and I got married and we bought our house, I slowly started to realize my dreams of staying home with our future kids were diminishing. I became alright with the fact that I would have to work, I mean, I loved my job and I knew that I could have some flexibility since my Dad was the boss and all. Not that I took any advantage of that fact. (insert sarcasm)
When the time came for me to go back to work after Ethan was born it was harder than I thought. I knew deep down I still wanted to be a stay at home mom. I knew that I had settled into believing this was the way it had to be and nothing could ever change. I wasn't completely unhappy, but I wasn't happy with working either. Luckily, I was able to cut back from five days a week to three, which made a huge difference. We were also fortunate enough to have Ethan stay with family while we were working. Our situation was ideal.
When I became pregnant this time around I instantly wanted to stay home, but thought there was no way. Brett and I talked about it but it was not making sense. I cried, a couple of times and I was only 4 months pregnant. I again resigned myself to the fact that this was how it was going to be and really our situation was ideal.
Then one day out of the blue Brett came home and said, "You need to stay home with the kids. We'll make it work. You need to quit your job." My first instinct was to laugh, which I did, and then I told him there was no way we could make it work. He suggested that was look at our financial situation differently and just give it a try. I was now hesitant. Our roles had become reversed. What was going on? I thought about it for a few days and finally said yes, lets give it a try. I instantly felt a like a weight had been lifted. I knew this was the right thing for our little growing family at this point in our lives.
As the days became closer to my last day at work, I grew more and more upset about leaving for good. I liked the people I worked with, I had basically created my position, and I loved what I was doing. My job had become such a huge part of my everyday life and being involved in a family business made it even tougher to leave. I liked being "in the know" and over the years my Dad and I have become closer because of it. But it was time for me to move on and start this new part of my life as a mom.
It may not be permanent but we've got to give it a shot. Our short term goal is for me to stay home a year, but our long term goal is for me to be home until the kids are in elementary school. I'm praying that we find a way to make it happen. I believe we can since it truly is the best thing we can do for our kids and for us as a whole family.
And so far I'm settling in nicely to my new role as a full time stay at home mom.